În vizită la Arnold

Abia m-am întors. Am fost în vizită la Arnold.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, evident.

Am fost plecat special să-i iau un interviu.

– Hi Arnie!
– Guten tag, Herr Spanak!
– Gutu-te-n tag băi, nu fi măgar!
– Was? Bitte wiederholen Sie die Frage!

Era clară treaba. P-ăsta nu-l scoteam din germană nici să-l pici cu ceară.
– Eine țuica, Arnie?
– Nein, ich trinke nicht.

Trebuia să fi făcut un curs germana înainte să mă duc la ăsta, că mă uit ca vițelul la poarta nouă la el.

arnie– Arnie, please, can we talk english please?
– Of course. Why didn’t you say from the beginning?
– Because you started in german.
– Ja! Unwilling.
– No problem, let’s proceed. In the last years you muscle mass went straight to the ground. Why?
– He… I was involved in politics. You see, i didn’t have enough time for my family… so Maria divorced from me now. So, i didn’t have time for myself either.
– Maria divorced because your infidelity…
– Let’s keep that to ourselves. I only cheated her once. I was drunk and it just happend. You know, you’re a married man…
– No, i’m not the one who cheats on his wife…
– C’mon, cut the crap. Let’s talk about something else. I see you are quite good in english. How comes?
– Păi mă Arnie, eu am făcut cursuri engleza. Mai mare rușinea să nu știu.
– Excuse me? In english please. As you don’t know german at all, i don’t know romanian…
– I studied english at school dude. And From Cartoon Network.
– No bullshit?
– Nope.
– That’s how Patrick studies german now. He has over 20 german TV channels.
– But why? He wants to talk german?
– No, he’s curious when i’m cursing.
– Meaning?
– Gehen Sie in meinen Schwanz!
– Ah, the usual up yours…
– Ja, right. C’mon, i’ll buy you a 6 pack.
– Make that an eight pack, and have one with me!
– Deal dude. Deal!

 

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