În vizită la Arnold

Abia m-am întors. Am fost în vizită la Arnold.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, evident.

Am fost plecat special să-i iau un interviu.

– Hi Arnie!
– Guten tag, Herr Spanak!
– Gutu-te-n tag băi, nu fi măgar!
– Was? Bitte wiederholen Sie die Frage!

Era clară treaba. P-ăsta nu-l scoteam din germană nici să-l pici cu ceară.
– Eine țuica, Arnie?
– Nein, ich trinke nicht.

Trebuia să fi făcut un curs germana înainte să mă duc la ăsta, că mă uit ca vițelul la poarta nouă la el.

– Arnie, please, can we talk english please?
– Of course. Why didn’t you say from the beginning?
– Because you started in german.
– Ja! Unwilling.
– No problem, let’s proceed. In the last years you muscle mass went straight to the ground. Why?
– He… I was involved in politics. You see, i didn’t have enough time for my family… so Maria divorced from me now. So, i didn’t have time for myself either.
– Maria divorced because your infidelity…
– Let’s keep that to ourselves. I only cheated her once. I was drunk and it just happend. You know, you’re a married man…
– No, i’m not the one who cheats on his wife…
– C’mon, cut the crap. Let’s talk about something else. I see you are quite good in english. How comes?
– Păi mă Arnie, eu am făcut cursuri engleza. Mai mare rușinea să nu știu.
– Excuse me? In english please. As you don’t know german at all, i don’t know romanian…
– I studied english at school dude. And From Cartoon Network.
– No bullshit?
– Nope.
– That’s how Patrick studies german now. He has over 20 german TV channels.
– But why? He wants to talk german?
– No, he’s curious when i’m cursing.
– Meaning?
– Gehen Sie in meinen Schwanz!
– Ah, the usual up yours…
– Ja, right. C’mon, i’ll buy you a 6 pack.
– Make that an eight pack, and have one with me!
– Deal dude. Deal!

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